FEELING MISUNDERSTOOD AND ISOLATED:
Changing One's Life
Many NDErs may return feeling depressed. Their depression may not be a typical depression, from low self-esteem or life-tragedy, but rather can be seen as a symptom of loss. In the case of NDErs, depression comes from a loss of home, or heaven. Home is experienced with an indescribable love. Some say it feels like every particle of the body is being bathed in a pool of love. Likewise, NDErs typically report that they are not alone in heaven. Rather, they are surrounded by beings who love them unconditionally who welcome them with celebration. Interconnected to everything, they feel a freedom and understanding that has no parallel on earth. In this manner, all limitations and confusions dissipate. It is no surprise that NDErs do not want to return to earth. Likewise, it is no surprise that they have difficulty adjusting to earthly existence when they miss their greater spiritual existence. In essence, they become depressed because they are very homesick.
processing the loss:
Counseling or mentorship may be a helpful strategy for grieving experiencers to process their loss. The main reason for them to work with another is to enlist a trusted confidant to share their wonderful heavenly experience and their earthly pain. Some write as a way to organize their experience and to share. There are typically four stages of loss:
A. Shock and Numbness: Many say “Why me!” or “Let me go back!” This gut-reaction is the regressed, or childlike, response within us protesting an unwanted circumstance. Some may feel anger at God and shame for the anger. Some may bargain with God to bring them back home.
B. Yearning and Searching: The experiencer may start feeling more depressed knowing that they are stuck on earth. Some try to bring back the experience through visualization/daydreaming, dream, meditation, prayer, etc. Some become quiet and more reclusive during this process. Experiencers may briefly recapture crude elements of the NDE, but they cannot create their own partial heaven on earth. Some begin to see that love exists on earth, to differing degrees. To go beyond this stage, the experiencer needs to recognize and embrace the love they see on earth.